Survival of the fittest

September 28, 2007 at 2:44 pm 2 comments

I really liked this cozy story about M&Ms:

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

m&ms

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.”

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

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Entry filed under: Life.

The Pulp Fiction suitcase mystery Undercover lover *updated*

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. JONNY C  |  October 6, 2007 at 1:44 pm

    i do that to! but what i find is whatever one goes at the top usually wins? try putting the weaker blue one at the top vs the red at the bottom, coz the blue one won with me in this way. emai me back coz it hink its cool someone else plays this game aswel lol

    Reply
  • 2. JOANA  |  August 6, 2008 at 8:41 pm

    YUM

    Reply

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